Chapter 820 – Perhaps Life is a Pointless Struggle
“Qingshan.” All Xiao An saw was Li Qingshan furrowing his brows heavily in his sleep as if he was in great pain.
The Clam King of Mirage Sea sat back down, no longer unconcerned like before. Instead, she sat seriously and gazed at the reflection of the dream above. Li Qingshan raced about in the dream. The setting of the dream remained at the ordinary little village, but she showed nightmarish fear.
She asked Xiao An, “Where is this?”
“Crouching Ox village, the place where he was born.” Xiao An glanced at the Clam King of Mirage Sea.
“In other words, this is two decades ago… It’s just like what I had guessed… So this is his greatest fear. So this is his greatest fear. It’s not pain and death, it’s not forgetting everyone and dying alone. He’s afraid that… this is all a dream!”
The Clam King of Mirage Sea’s voice trembled.
Xiao An noticed her abnormal behaviour and said in thought, “Since you’ve said that all creatures feel fear, then you’re no different. What would your greatest and deepest fear be, Clam King of Mirage Sea?”
The Clam King of Mirage Sea sighed, but she avoided giving a direct answer. “I really do want to save him right now, but it breaks the principle of my very existence, so he’s dead for sure.”
During the past millennia, perhaps the cultivators who accidentally entered the Mirage sea and sank into nightmares had already been killed by the monsters in the nightmares before they could even face their greatest fears.
However, he had lasted until now with his extraordinary courage and fearlessness towards death, entering a deeper nightmare. However, he was also forced to face his greatest fear. This had already become a dead end with no way out.
No one could defeat their greatest fears. No one! Everything only became more difficult the more someone tried. The more courageous they were, the deeper their fears would become. This most primitive, deepest, longest lasting and strongest feeling had always been the cornerstone of willpower.
“I don’t believe it,” Xiao An said stubbornly.
“Alright, then let’s see it for ourselves!”
The Clam King of Mirage Sea was no longer satisfied with just spectating from the side. Instead, she directly dove into Li Qingshan’s dream, gazing at the downtrodden Li Qingshan. She was overcome with sighs, but also slightly eager too.
In the reflection of the dream, Li Qingshan dug up the white rock from the witch’s backyard and blanked out for an entire night. Afterwards, he made his way out and arrived by the well.
“Is it finally going to end?”
The Clam King of Mirage Sea borrowed the villager’s eyes to gaze at the downhearted Li Qingshan by the well. She could not help but sigh.
If this were a result dream, then suicide was indeed a way to break free. However, dying in the deepest nightmare would only lead to death. Even his soul would be destroyed before being digested by clam qi. The rumors of the South sea were not all false.
However, Li Qingshan stood up and made his way out of the village.
The Clam King of Mirage Sea was stunned, so all of the villagers were stunned too. Big brother Li and the sister-in-law wanted to rush over and stop him, but the Clam King of Mirage Sea stopped them. She did not want to complicate this. She wanted to see just what this man would do, not to mention the fact that when this man made a decision, how could a farmer and a farmer’s wife stop him?
When Li Qingshan stood before the butcher’s shop in town and gazed at the ox head blankly, the Clam King of Mirage Sea peered through the butcher shop owner’s eyes to see this.
“You still refuse to accept this and want to verify it? This black ox bears great significance to you. It’s basically an irreplaceable pillar of support to you, but you’ve seen it for yourself now. ‘Miracles’ don’t exist. ‘Dreams’ don’t exist either. You’ll finally give up now, won’t you? Go back, go back to your Crouching Ox village!”
However, Li Qingshan burdened himself with the ox head and made his way off into the distance.
The Clam King of Mirage Sea watched as he travelled into the distance. She was surprised.
“What are you trying to do? You still don’t know that all forms of struggle are pointless!”
As a result, she followed him. She watched him wander through this exitless maze, searching for a dream that never existed in the first place. He was disappointed again and again, but it was never enough to make him despair. He encountered temptations after temptations, but it was never enough to make him stop.
Before she knew it, she had spent several decades in this dream with him.
Finally, he stopped and looked back one day. The shade of death crept over, which he could clearly sense. After a moment of thought, he laughed aloud and said his final words.
“Regret my ass!”
With earth-shattering force, it left even the Clam King of Mirage Sea shocked. She murmured to herself, “He’s actually defeated this nightmare; no, it’s not defeating exactly. There was no chance for it to be defeated. He just continued to struggle, refusing to admit defeat, even until the final moment of his life. Hehe, what an utterly foolish idea!”
Vaguely, she seemed to see a black ox standing with an indomitable spirit. The Ox Demon, with its Great Strength, Sinks in the Mud. Perhaps life was a pointless struggle, but struggling in its very essence was most pointless!
Perhaps this world did not have brother ox, Xiao An, or the Nine Heavens, but even when he had forgotten certain things and lost the various abilities of the Nine Transformations of the Demonic and Divine, this spirit had already been firmly engraved in a place even deeper than fear in his heart.
Perhaps you might never defeat fear, but that did not stop you from continuing with your battle.
The dream shattered as a result, and the butterfly flew through the endless darkness with an indescribable blend of colours, shedding pigments that were just as indescribable that dyed this black curtain.
With Xiao An’s calls, Li Qingshan woke up from his dream and slowly opened his eyes. He saw Xiao An’s overjoyed face, and the doors to his memories immediately opened up. The conversations, sounds, and pictures flowed out, leaving him with a splitting headache and great exhaustion, but he was also filled with indescribable joy.
“Fascinating! That’s far too fascinating!”
The Clam King of Mirage Sea clapped briskly, expressing her admiration without holding back at all. As Li Qingshan woke up, her appearance stabilised once more with a face as beautiful as a dream.
“Clam King of Mirage Sea!”
Li Qingshan bellowed and immediately understood that the nightmares he had just experienced all originated from the Clam King of Mirage Sea. She was not as friendly and gentle as the Great Banyan Tree King had described her to be. Instead, she treated his nightmares like a movie, which left him especially furious!
“I know you’re very angry, but you can’t blame me! Fellow Xiao An, it’s best if you explain it to him and get him to control his hostility, or I might strike involuntarily.” The Clam King of Mirage Sea laid out her hands. She behaved so much like she had done nothing wrong that she seemed like she deserved a beating.
“Qingshan!” Xiao An embraced Li Qingshan firmly from behind and murmured.
“Xiao An?” Li Qingshan was slightly surprised. He could sense that her emotions were heaving violently.
Just like what the Clam King of Mirage Sea had said, she had remained conscious the entire time, but she faced her greatest and only fear, which was losing him. She watched him run around in the nightmare, enduring all of his fears alone and at the risk of dying at any moment. Now that he had finally awakened safely, how could she still be calm?